The World's Plaidiest News Source

The Yellow Man on the Red Planet?

Do they deliver General's Chicken up here?Greetings world watchers! Sorry for the weekend hiatus, but the Plaid Avenger was in Ho Chi Minh City getting fitted for a retro Battle of Dien Bien Phu plaid jumpsuit. Oh…the good old days, out fighting the Frenchies in the jungles of Indochina…. Oops, I have once again digressed. Let's get back to some under-reported news stories of great impact to your future. And I'm not even going to stay on the planet for this rant, because its all about space!

Russia, China aim for Red Planet

Russia is world leader in space launches

China's new space program unveiled

Dudes! Dudettes! This is some serious shit going down, and it is barely even reported on in the US! Last week we talked about how Hu visited Putin to talk trade, especially in fuel and weapons, but apparently these countries are getting even cozier on a whole host of issues. Like going to Mars. Wtf? Yeah, Mars, man…like that planet no one has stepped on yet. Development of space programs is a real biggie, for several different reasons. Let's look at them, shall we?

Russia was/is a leader of space exploration, including related technologies. Russia would like to continue to regain its status as a serious global power. Russia also needs investment.

China is THE up-and-coming world power. China wants to continue to make gains in its status as a major world power. China has shitloads of capital to invest.

Are you starting to see this match made in heaven? Ahhh yesss, most honorable ancestors; we shall have kick-ass space rockets!

Further development of the Chinese Space program, in cahoots with the Russian program, is a serious win-win for these two countries. Russia gains investment. China gains access. Both gain technological advancement. But most importantly: Both gain world status. How? Please consider my plaid friends, that the 'Space Club' is the most exclusive entity on earth—only US, Russia, and now China have put humans in space. And China in particular wants to be in all the coolest clubs it can get in—it's a status thing. It's why China wants to host the Olympics, and the Miss World pageant, or whatever else they are up to. Having a space program is simultaneously a political, economic, technological, and cultural statement: It says 'we are at the top: we have the capital, the technology, the drive, and the will to go where no man has gone before.'

Or was that Captain Kirk? Did you ever see that episode where Kirk bitch-slaps Dr. Spock? No wonder Bones McCoy was driven to drink…

Future site of Kung-Pow PalacePerhaps you are now wondering why the Plaid Avenger even cares. How is a Russian/Chinese space venture of importance to us? Here's how: China has plans to visit the moon. Only the US has pulled that one off. With talk of Mars missions, this whole space exploration gig appears to be dawning into a new age. China has already floated the idea of a moon colony too. And what's that old saying…oh, yes: possession is 9/10 of the law. Meaning: whoever is sitting on it can claim it. Perhaps your kids or grandkids will be visiting a moon hotel on their summer vacation…and it most likely will be owned by a Hong Kong syndicate.

How do you think the US will respond to all these developments? Just sit on the sidelines? Oh, hell no! I cannot predict future events with exactness, but you can take this premonition to the bank: THE NEW SPACE RACE HAS BEGUN! Right now! In our age! Competition is a hell of a thing, especially between two or three rich world powers. Why do you think the US went to the moon in the first place? Answer: just to beat the Russians to the punch. And I believe that with recent space initiatives—by the Chinese, the Russians, the Japanese and the EU—that the US is going to soon explode back onto the scene for a moon base, a Mars base, and what the hell ever else that China may be planning.

And here is the Plaid inside scoop: even if a lot of forward thinkers and scientists don't push for a moon base, ultra-conservative military hawk types will. How hilarious! There will be voices of concern raised at the DoD that if China has a moon base, then they could have missiles on that moon base, which means we must have a moon base, so we can have missiles to counter their missiles on the moon base. Hahahaha…its all so delightfully corny, except for the fact that it will probably unfold in exactly this manner. (Go watch Dr. Strangelove for an exact depiction of how this will happen.) Consider the worldwide investment and political discourse occurring already concerning the 'missile defense shield'. How much more attention will a 'moon defense' get?

Bottom line: We are just out of the starting blocks, but the next space race is ON. China, with Russia's help, is going to explode onto the space exploration scene with a vengeance. Japan is already stepping up their program. The EU too. Look for announcements from NASA in the coming year that we will have a moon colony in the works. And if you have some capital lying around that you want to invest for your kids and grandkids: look to companies in aerospace industries and technologies. They will be blowing up: financially, figuratively, and literally.

Danger Will Robinson! Danger! The Chinese are going to the moon!

Hmmmm…..do they make plaid astronaut gear? That would be stylish…

-PA

Comments Bookmark and Share

Keep in Touch with Plaid Updates

Get the University Textbook

The Plaid Avenger's World

Are you a college professor teaching World Regions or Global Political classes? Pick up the cutting edge, most entertainly educating textbook currently on the market.

Preview

Get the Comic Books

Issue 2: Battle For Burma

Well, the battle for the heart and soul of this country is on, but no one outside Burma seems to be able to do a damn thing about it! Why not?

Preview
click to profile Burma Thein Sein President
click to profile Italy Mario Monti Prime Minister
click to profile Spain Mariano Rajoy Prime Minister
click to profile North Korea Kim Jong-un Heir leader
click to profile Japan Yoshihiko Noda Prime Minister
click to profile South Sudan Salva Kiir President
click to profile Poland Bronisław Komorowski President
click to profile Peru Ollanta Humala President
click to profile United States Leon Panetta Secretary of Defense
click to profile Yemen Ali Abdullah Saleh President
click to profile Algeria Abdelaziz Bouteflika President
click to profile Belarus Alexander Lukashenko President
click to profile Australia Rupert Murdoch Chairman and CEO of News Corporation
click to profile United States Warren Buffett CEO of Berkshire Hathaway
click to profile China Liang Guanglie Minister for National Defense
click to profile China Zhou Xiaochuan Governor of the People's Bank
click to profile Pakistan Ashfaq Kayani Chief of Army Staff
click to profile General Electric Jeffrey Immelt CEO
click to profile China Li Changchun Propaganda Chief of China
click to profile Jordan King Abdullah II King of Jordon
click to profile Peru Alan Garcia President
click to profile United States Ben Bernanke 14th Chairman of the Federal Reserve
click to profile United States Hillary Clinton Secretary of State
click to profile China Xi Jinping Vice President
click to profile United States Robert Gates Secretary of Defense
click to profile World Bank Robert Zoellick President
click to profile Apple Steve Jobs Chairman and CEO, Apple Inc
click to profile Panama Ricardo Martinelli President
click to profile Brazil Dilma Rousseff President
click to profile Nigeria Goodluck Jonathan President
click to profile Colombia Juan Manuel Santos President
click to profile Chile Sebastián Piñera President
click to profile Japan Naoto Kan Prime Minister
click to profile Australia Julia Gillard Prime Minister
click to profile United Kingdom David Cameron Prime Minister
click to profile IAEA Yukiya Amano Director General
click to profile Bolivia Evo Morales President
click to profile United Kingdom Tony Blair Former Prime Minister
click to profile Egypt Mohamed ElBaradei Opposition figure
click to profile Japan Yukio Hatoyama Prime Minister
click to profile NATO Anders Fogh Rasmussen Secretary General
click to profile Germany Angela Merkel Chancellor
click to profile Vatican City Pope Benedict XVI Pope
click to profile UN Ban Ki-moon Secretary-General
click to profile Burma Aung San Suu Kyi Opposition leader
click to profile Tibet Dalai Lama His Holiness
click to profile Lebanon Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah Hezbollah leader
click to profile Syria Bashar al-Assad President
click to profile Palestine Mahmoud Abbas President
click to profile Gaza Khaled Mashal Hamas Leader
click to profile Israel Benjamin Netanyahu Prime Minister
click to profile Iraq Nouri Kamel al-Maliki Prime Minister
click to profile United Arab Emirates Mohammed Maktoum Prime Minister
click to profile Egypt Hosni Mubarak President
click to profile Libya Muammar al-Gaddafi Colonel, De Facto Leader
click to profile Kazakhstan Nursultan Nazarbayev President
click to profile Afghanistan Hamid Karzai President
click to profile Saudi Arabia King Abdullah King
click to profile Turkey Recep Erdoğan Prime Minister
click to profile China Wen Jiabao Premier
click to profile Taiwan Ma Ying-jeou President
click to profile South Korea Lee Myung-bak President
click to profile Burma Than Shwe Senior General
click to profile Indonesia Susilo Bambang President
click to profile Australia Kevin Rudd Minister for Foreign Affairs
click to profile Japan Taro Aso Former Prime Minister
click to profile Turkey Abdullah Gul President
click to profile Serbia Boris Tadić President
click to profile Equatorial Guinea Teodoro Obiang President
click to profile South Africa Nelson Mandela Former President
click to profile Nigeria Umaru Yar’Adua President
click to profile Congo Joseph Kabila President
click to profile Sudan Omar al-Bashir President
click to profile Ukraine Yulia Tymoshenko Prime Minister
click to profile Ukraine Viktor Yanukovych President
click to profile Ukraine Viktor Yushchenko President
click to profile Spain José Zapatero President
click to profile Italy Silvio Berlusconi Prime Minister
click to profile United Kingdom Gordon Brown Prime Minister
click to profile Russia Dmitry Medvedev President
click to profile Cuba Raúl Castro President
click to profile Nicaragua Daniel Ortega President
click to profile Colombia Álvaro Uribe President
click to profile Canada Stephen Harper Prime Minister
click to profile Brazil Lula da Silva President
click to profile Cuba Fidel Castro Former President
click to profile Argentina Cristina Kirchner President
click to profile Ecuador Rafael Correa President
click to profile Chile Michelle Bachelet President
click to profile India Dr. Manmohan Singh Prime Minister
click to profile Russia Vladimir Putin Prime Minister
click to profile Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe President
click to profile France Nicolas Sarkozy President
click to profile Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad President
click to profile North Korea Kim Jong-il Ruler
click to profile South Africa Jacob Zuma President
click to profile Venezuela Hugo Chávez President
click to profile China Hu Jintao President
click to profile Mexico Felipe Calderón President
click to profile United States Barack Obama President