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Goodbye Gaza! Part 1: Let’s Talk Territory

• Middle East

 

So what in the living hell has been happening this month in the area referred to as Palestine, and why is it so important to the future of this region? I thought originally that I would start this story with Hamas and Fatah, the two political parties involved in this struggle for leadership, but now I think its best if we start with geography to set the place and space up for your understanding. So let's take a quick tour of the area and name some names…

Introduction to Palestine/Israel geography a.k.a. long story short: Currently, the area we refer to as Palestine is a political entity comprised of 2 separate geographic spaces, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. See map at right. Notice I call it a 'political entity' as opposed to a state/country. Cause it's not. Yet. There has been movement towards Palestine becoming a full sovereign state for the last decade or so, but this has not been accomplished—and the current events of June 2007 have radically complicated the process. But I am getting ahead of myself…

 

After the dismemberment of the Ottoman Empire at the conclusion if WWI, many territories that are now states in the Middle East were controlled by European powers under a system known as mandates. Of most interest to our particular story, the British had the mandate over what is now Palestine, Israel, and Jordan (see map). During Brit control thousands of Jews were allowed to migrate to the area, fulfilling a desire to re-obtain their ancient homeland in a movement referred to as Zionism. This went on at a slow pace for decades, but became radically accelerated after WWII, as the Nazi-sponsored Jewish Holocaust energized the Zionist movement to really formalize the whole Jewish homeland/state concept.

But there was one small problem for the incoming Jews—there were already other people living there! Shitloads of people! The people we call Palestinians! Arab/Muslim Palestinians that were living there weren't too keen on this process, and friction between the groups developed. The Brits saw the impending shit-storm that was brewing, so they bailed out and handed over the entire area to the UN to let them sort it out. Subsequently, a majority of the United Nations Special Committee on Palestine recommended the creation of independent Arab and Jewish states, with Jerusalem to be placed under international administration, and on November 29, 1947 the UN General Assembly voted 33 to 13 in favor of the 1947 UN Partition Plan. (see map) The partition plan was rejected out of hand by the leadership of the Palestinian Arabs, by the Arab League, and by most of the Arab population.

This led Jewish leaders to declare the independent State of Israel the day prior to official British withdrawal, on 14 May 1948. All the surrounding Arab countries immediately attacked it, and the ensuing 1948 Arab-Israeli War ended with the former mandate territory controlled by the State of Israel, the Kingdom of Jordan, and the Kingdom of Egypt. Israel had successfully defended itself from the Arab attack and the US, the Europeans, and the UN recognized its sovereignty. But the fun had just begun…

I won't go into detail here, but you should probably at least know this: since 1948 there have been multiple wars between Israel and the neighboring Arab states over control of the territories, but the most critical one was the 1967 6-Day War. Try and figure out how the war got its name. After that, try and figure out who is buried in Grant's tomb. Anyway by this war's end, Israel had gained control of eastern Jerusalem, the Gaza Strip, the Sinai Peninsula, the West Bank, and the Golan Heights. (see map)

The results of the war affect the geopolitics of the region to this day. The Sinai Peninsula eventually reverted back to Egypt and the Golan Heights will probably soon revert back to Syria, but the West Bank and the Gaza Strip have been under Israeli occupation and control since 1967…and continuing to this day. Which brings us to the end of this chapter…

The West Bank and Gaza Strip are sometimes referred to as 'the Occupied Territories', as in occupied by Israel forces. The areas, and specifically the borders, are patrolled and controlled by the Israeli military–complete with check points and road blocks and high security throughout. Some in Israel would argue that the areas were won in a war, so they should just claim them outright as part of Israel. But many more folks (including most other countries in the world) think that perhaps those territories should be controlled by the Palestinians, and even made into a separate sovereign state…which of course was the plan that the UN had put forth back in 1947. This idea is referred to as 'the 2-state solution' and we'll talk more about it later.

All this mess has been further complicated by Israel's off-and-on support of the movement of Jewish settlers into these contested territories. So there are lots of Jewish settlements/towns/people throughout the West Bank, although there are not anymore in the Gaza Strip since the Israeli government forcibly removed them a few years back as a diplomatic gesture to promote the peace process. You may have also heard lately about a big-ass wall that Israel has been building around parts of the West Bank to improve security between the West Bank and Israel proper, but also protecting Jewish settlement areas within the West Bank itself.

 

This shit is so confusing. I hope this has helped. At least know what these geographic terms mean: the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, Israel, 'the Occupied Territories', and Palestine. Now that you have the geo-vocab, we can get into the nuts and bolts of the politics. This one last map may help you understand the changing geography of what/where 'Palestine' is:

 

 

 

‘2-State Solution’ Totally Tanked. And so am I: an intro.

• Middle East

What is happening my Party Plaid People? Sorry for the incredible incorrigible inconvenient incognito that I have indulged in for several weeks, but what can I say? Sometimes when you fall in cahoots with a couple of Asian hotties while working undercover to infiltrate a top-secret lingerie factory outside Rangoon…well, let's just say that you lose track of time.

But now I'm back! And lo and behold! All hell has broken loose in the Strip! Now typically when I hear the word 'strip' it has nothing but positive connotations in my experience abroad. But when the strip in question is the Gaza Strip, we're talking about a whole different type of being fucked. I have the distinct feeling that most Americans don't have an utter clue about the importance of the events in Palestine in the last two weeks, and we need to change that.

Some serious shit has gone done there—and I mean history-altering type of shit. Everything in the Arab-Israeli dispute, the 'two-state solution', and peace in the Middle East is going to be different from here on out. Would you like to know more? Would you like to be among the 1% of Americans that actually know what the hell is going on in this situation? Then tune in for the next several days my friends and I'll do my best to clue you in. Let's do a Plaid Avenger first: a multi-day blog on a single subject. How about a line-up that looks like this:

Day 1: Who the hell is Hamas?

Day 2: What the fuck is Fatah?

Day 3: When did all this shit go down: a timeline

Day 4: Where the hell are these places we're talking about? Territory matters!

Day 5: Why is the '2-state solution' now totally tanked?

Day 6: Wrap-up; likely scenarios and what outside forces will do.

Damn! The who-what-when-where-and why of current events in Palestine. That is too damn good! Now I hope I can deliver the goods. Sound good to you folks? Drop me a line in the comments section—seriously. In fact, I think from now on this blog should only be written to answer specific questions or approach specific current events posed in the comments or emailed directly to me.

If you build it, they will come. If you ask it, it shall be written. That is my inebriated pledge to you, my friends.

Shit, now I've got to sleep off this hangover and figure out Hamas. I must be out of my mind. Check this out while you wait:

Mid-East leaders gather at summit

Haniya rejects Israel-Arab summit

Israel and U.S. agree on Palestinian approach

Forget the Frosted Flakes: G-8 Riots, They’re Grrrrrrrrrr…..eight!!!

• World
• European Eurasia

Ha! Smashing comedy! How capital! And speaking of capital, today's topical topic involves those eight countries containing copious quantities of capital—the G-8. The Great-8 as I like to refer to them as. And the G could also stand for G-money my brotha's and sista's cause the 8 has got that too! I was just taking a weekend holiday in Amsterdam, when sure enough anywhere I show up shit hits the fan…and by shit I mean beer bottles, rocks, tear gas…you know, usual mob stuff.

That's right friends, it's almost time for the annual G8 summit and the Germans decided to start celebrating a couple of days early! Check this out:

G-8 Protesters Clash With German Police

Violent clashes at G8 demo in Germany

You remember the G8, right? If not, the G8 is basically just a group of eight richest "democratic" countries (Germany, US, UK, France, Italy, Canada, Japan, and Russia). Once a year, the leaders of the G8 states like to get together and chat—mostly about staying rich and keeping everyone else poor. This is actually how the G8 got started—leaders from the six richest, most awesome democratic countries (this is before Canada and Russia joined the club) met for cocktails in 1975 and after the party, they decided to do it again next year. This yearly party slowly evolved into a formal organization with a rotating presidency, blah, blah, blah…

Anyway, there is one sucky aspect about being president of the G8: you gotta host the party! Let me tell you, I have hosted some Animal House style parties in my day, but even the Plaid Avenger would NEVER choose to host a G8 summit! Nothing incites the poor, the disenfranchised, and the radical-left like a bunch of empowered white dudes getting together to bullshit about being rich. And NOBODY likes to riot more than the before mentioned groups (except, perhaps, residents of Detroit, Michigan).

As you can tell by the articles, this year's summit is being held at a beach front resort in Heiligendamm, Germany. Ahhh… summer in Germany… and there is nothing as exclusive as a beach front resort surrounded by a giant-ass barb wire fence. And with an "underwater barrier" erected to keep out all the damn boats. (Plaid Party Tip: The secret to throwing a great summit—Fortify the SHIT out of the place!) The party will surely be wild inside the fence. It will be the last G8 summit meeting for several important heads of state: Vlad "The Man" Putin, Tony "Poodle-Boy" Blair, and Jacques "The Rock" Chirac (Plaid Prediction: the Kempinski Grand Hotel will be several bathrobes short at the end of the summit). It will also be the first G8 summit for Gordon 'Brown Sugar' Brown, Nick 'the Knife' Sarkozy, and Shinzo "Sake-to-me" Abe—who, according to several sources, is capable of drinking over 30 Sapparo Black Label beers in one sitting! Sweet!

But, the real excitement will be outside of the fence. The pre-party started at a peaceful protest" in nearby Rostock. Don't be surprised if people get more pissed and more violent after the summit actually begins! While G8 summits are typically filled with protest, this year may be worse than normal. Here are a few reasons why:

1.Energy costs are sky high.

2.Global Warming scares the shit out of people living in the Northern European lowlands.

3.GW Bush is remarkably even LESS popular than he was last year. Jesus! How is that possible?

What will the summit accomplish? Probably nothing as usual. This international group does not have any binding contractual agreement to actually do or enforce anything. It's more just a 'fireside chat' among these top world leaders about what to focus on in the coming year, with no real intent to actually put any policy in place.

However, you should be aware about this 'focus' stuff. It was absolutely no coincidence that US President George Bush suddenly came out with a policy just last week which states that his administration wants to start dealing with global warming—after essentially ignoring the issue for six years! Its going to be up for debate at the G-8, and George doesn't want to be odd man out anymore.

Also, look for everyone to be kissing Putin's ass as much as possible since Russia is flexing its muscles here lately since establishing itself as an energy-producing giant. Since Russia provides shit-tons of energy to Europe, I'll also bet that Putin is going to be putting the squeeze on those European leaders to convince the US to stop building its missile defense shield sites in Eastern Europe—in fact I'd put a lot of money on that bet.

OK, enough on this, I'm headed back to the "coffee shop". I'll catch you plaid cats later. Party in plaid.

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