Greetings from Shanghai my Plaid Friends! Stopped in from Ankara so I could sniff around to see what shenanigans that savvy Shanghai Six are up to. What? You don’t know who the Shanghai Six are? Hell, I’ve been following these guys since they were a little bitty newborn Shanghai Five! Perhaps you know them by their newer, streamlined cool nickname, the SCO: the Shanghai Cooperation Organization? What? Still drawing a blank? Oh my friends, if you want to understand what’s going on in the world, you better know your SCO. Here, try these on for size:
Shanghai plan to fight extremism (old school story-check the date)
Shanghai grouping moves centre stage
SCO joint military exercises to be held in Russia in 2007
Don’t play this Great Game
Pakistan and the SCO
Iran urges Central Asian bloc to counter West
Who the hell are these guys? The current SCO/Shanghai Six are: China, Russia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan. The Asian giants on either side of a smattering of central Asian states—a big “Stan” sandwich! Ha! That is too damn good! I’ll have a side of fries with my Stan Sandwich! And speaking of sides, there are some of those too: Iran, Afghanistan, Mongolia, India and Pakistan have all requested and obtained observer status—which means they get to come to the meetings and hang out with the cool kids in the SCO clubhouse. I wonder if they have a secret hand shake? A shake with my fries and Stan-wich…oh, I’m too much today!
But I digress…
What the hell are they up to? This club was formed from the ashes of the demise of the USSR, and their original mission consisted of curbing “extremism, terrorism and separatism”—and let’s call a spade a spade here: their talking about Islamic extremism and Islamic terrorism, and separatism of any damn color or flavor. Some of these states are totalitarian in nature, others are one-party states, and some are fledgling democracies, so you can probably figure out very quickly how they deal with extremism, terrorism and separatism. ‘Iron fisted’ may be too strong a term, but let’s just say that the use of force to quell internal troubles is usually in the top three responses, if not the number one. In other words, China and Russia have no qualms about Tajikistan or Uzbekistan suppressing internal dissent with force—as long as its guised under the ‘stabilizing security’ heading. But that’s not what I really want to blather about. It’s this:
Security may have been the foundation block, but my oh my, they are a long way from home now! The SCO is one of the fastest growing clubs on the planet, mostly growing in terms of their mission statement. Now they conduct joint military exercises (hmmm…kind of like an Asian NATO), are signing all sorts of trade pacts (hmmm…kind of like an Asian EU), and there is been a fluttering of talk in the last six months about the SCO forming a giant natural gas cartel to stabilize market outputs and prices (hmmm…kind of like an Asian OPEC).
Wow! That is potent stuff! The fact that Vladimir Putin and several others completely dismissed the Asian OPEC idea publicly means to me that they are actually seriously considering it behind closed doors. These guys have terrible poker faces! If they really had no desire to build a natural gas coalition, they would have pretended to do it just to scare the shit out of everybody. Like oil is to the Middle East, natural gas is to Russia and Central Asia—in that they have the lion’s share of the world’s reserves, and could easily use it for price-fixing and political advantage. I look for that gas activity to start discreetly building next year—pun intended.
The ‘security/military’ maneuvers are very interesting as well, since they are the largest of their kind that the world has ever known. I’m not sure why no one has pointed that out. China has the biggest manned military on the planet. And Russia has the second biggest arsenal after the US, so you’re talking a seriously powerful group of folks from a strategic standpoint. And don’t start stock-piling for WW3; I am in no way shape of form suggesting that this group is planning anything offensively. Quite the contrary! I am suggesting that much like NATO, they are setting themselves up as an ‘un-attackable’ group. Many are already calling the SCO the ‘anti-Western’ option. Hmmm…Interesting shit for sure.
Their trade activity is getting hot too, as most countries want to get in on the trade block action. That’s why Iran, Pakistan, India and Mongolia wanted observer status, and I’m assuming they will all take full-member status if it’s ever offered to them. Everybody wants a piece of that SCO pie! Japan too has to pay attention to the action, since so much of their energy and other imports flows from the continent. Others will follow, but Russia and China have already vowed that unlike the EU, growth will be slow and controlled no matter what the future of the SCO holds. Those bastards are as patient as stones when it comes to foreign policy!
Lastly, I’ll point this out: the US is very unhappy about the SCO. Why? The SCO is definitely a threat to US power in the region. Def. Def. Def. The SCO has already pressured its member countries into forcing out some US military bases, and has openly stated that all US military installations should be gone in the near future. The SCO as the Asian NATO gives many other countries a viable option to team up with in the 21st century…an option that is not US based, backed, or controlled. In fact, you should really know this: the US has asked for observer status to the SCO for years, and been refused!!! The SCO won’t let Uncle Sam even hang out in the clubhouse! Damn, Unc is getting pissed!
Russia and China’s ties with Iran through the SCO are also irksome for the US—it’s why Russia and China continue to vote down tough sanctions against Iran in the UN Permanent Security Council. Doh! Unc is getting more pissed!
And the gas? Don’t even get me started with the gas! The US and Europe will be shitting themselves if an OPEC-like gas coalition gets formed—pun intended again! As the biggest consumers of both oil and natural gas, the US and Europe are likely to be strung up by the energy balls in the coming century, because Asia’s got it all!
Damn! That SCO is one to watch my friends! But you won’t read about it in the US press, because they are totally clueless. Even Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert can’t help you like the Plaid Avenger can when it comes to international intrigue!
Party on! Shanghai-style!
-PA
Greetings from 
Security may have been the foundation block, but my oh my, they are a long way from home now! The SCO is one of the fastest growing clubs on the planet, mostly growing in terms of their mission statement. Now they conduct joint military exercises (hmmm…kind of like an Asian NATO), are signing all sorts of trade pacts (hmmm…kind of like an Asian EU), and there is been a fluttering of talk in the last six months about the SCO forming a giant natural gas cartel to stabilize market outputs and prices (hmmm…kind of like an Asian OPEC). 
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:40 am
Stewart and Colbert got nothin on you PA. Keep on keepin on, even if it is the summer. No job can keep us from reading your blog.
- neoimpaler
May 24th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
In his 1997 book The Grand Chessboard, former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brezinksi foresaw this exact situation.
In his book, he basically said that Central Asia would be the most important part of the world in the next couple of years because of its enormous geostrategic importance and its energy reserves. America’s biggest concern was to make sure that these Central Asian countries didn’t fall back under the influence of Russia, cuz then we’d have to deal with a strong Russia again.
Brzezinksi also suggested that Iran, Russia, and China would be tempted to form a triumvirate and divide up Central Asia between themselves. Such a club would be really appealing to them because they could basically eject America out of Central Asian affairs, making America a nonplayer in the world game (Risk, as some would call it). However, Brzezinski concluded that such a club would never form because those three countries are just too weak economically, on their own, to challenge American supremacy. China and Russia need American money to keep their economies going. They can’t be messing around and making us mad.
Another big thing that will rip this alliance apart is Iran’s dirty little obsession with Islam. As Islam spreads, Iran will be getting stronger because Iran is basically the center of the Islamic world (sorry Saudi Arabia, you’re a nonplayer in this game). Russia will want to suck up to Iran because Iran is gaining crazy influence in the region (see Iraq, Afghanistan, etc..) Also, several other countries (Pakistan, Turkey, some other places I’m sure) are in danger of collapsing and becoming Islamic bitch states to Iran. So in the final analysis, Russia is like a skank dating a college basketball player knowing that he will dump her as soon as he gets to the NBA. They can never really love each other because Russia just can’t be down with Islam like that. Putin could try and go crazy by growing a beard and learning Arabic, but it probably just won’t work.
May 27th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
It would be cool if we, the US, didn’t have to try and police everywhere. At this point, with the weakness we’ve already seen from other countries, there really isn’t another option, but it would be cool if Russia/China/Other got together and cracked down on the Middle East. But, like the person above said, unlikely…
May 30th, 2007 at 7:21 am
Dude, you need to go to Shanghai. It WILL be THE CITY to be in in a few years. The place is rocking 24/7
And dude, I am so fucking glad you haven’t made an article about the stupidity goin on in Taiwan about renaming shit concerning CKS. I swear to God my job is the only thing keeping me from blowing into the Presidential palace and putting 2 in Chen (this time not the stomach but in his god damn head).