Greetings from Pakistan my Plaid Friends. Just popped in to the mountains here in Kashmir to pick up a sweet plaid sweater. Got to love that Kashmir! And of course trouble follows me…big riots broke out in Karachi this weekend, riots which spell big trouble for the most precariously position Paki of them all: my main man Pervez. Check it:

Senior official of Pakistani Supreme Court is killed

Riots in Karachi leave dozens dead

Strikes paralyse Pakistan amid more violence

Musharraf’s poll strategy in ruins

Pakistan’s Democracy Movement Defies Repression

What happened to our main Pak-man Musharraf? General Pervez Musharraf is also President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan. But make no bones about it, while he may be called President and walk around in a nice suit, he is still the main General and commands the armed forces. Mush took over the government by force in 1999 and has led it ever since. He is a huge US ally (Pakistan is the #3 recipient of US foreign aid), and major player in the fight against global terrorism, but simultaneously is not much loved at home. There have been several assassination attempts, and violent protests always seem to lurk just below the surface of this society. What is the latest turmoil about?

The run-down:

1. On March 9^th Mush the Man fires the head of Pakistan’s Supreme Court, Chief Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry, for bad behavior. Was Chaudhry really corrupt and doing questionable things? Plaid sez: “probably.” Was he really that much more corrupt than anybody else? Plaid sez: “probably not.”
2. Ever since, lawyers across the country have staged strikes in a form of protest to Mush’s involvement in the judicial branch. These strikes have completely shut down the court system. Many think that Chaudhry was fired solely because he had become an outspoken critic of harsh anti-terrorist activity of the Mush government. Is that true? Plaid sez: “Possibly, but not probably.”
3. These strikes have now turned into a whole anti-Mush, anti-government, pro-democracy movement across the country, resulting in several big violent blow-ups, the latest being in Karachi over the weekend. Is all of Pakistan rising up in protest? Plaid sez: “Hard to tell as an outsider. I’d say the country is split: maybe 20% avidly pro-Mush, maybe 20% violently anti-Mush, and everybody else is somewhere in-between.”

Long story short: Mush is in a mess. I think this guy has got to have the highest stress job on the whole damn planet. Man, I wouldn’t wish his position on a broke-dick dog. What am I talking about? Dig this:

Musharraf is trying to pacify the wants and desires of 170 million citizens—that’s the 6^th biggest population in the world. It’s also a devoutly Islamic society, including the whole spectrum of religious views from the mainstream to the seriously extreme. It’s a society that has attempted to be a democracy since its inception back in 1947, with less than desirable results—the reason Mush took over the country in 1999 was because of massively widespread government corruption. There are a slew of extremist factions and separatists groups pulling the country apart, especially all around the Afghan border (look up Waziristan, Balochistan, the Taliban—damn, that sounds like a Dr. Seuss book). Mush is trying to keep a lid on terrorist activity in Afghanistan, terrorist activity in Pakistan near the Afghan border, terrorist activity in Kashmir, terrorist activity in India, and of course terrorist activity all throughout Pakistan itself. Damn! Every time a bomb goes off anywhere in Asia, Pakistan takes the heat!

And it gets even worse! In an attempt to keep Pakistan on the list of the ‘good’ countries, Mush has to suck up to the US and the other players in the ‘War on Terrorism’ by cracking down as hard as he can in Pakistan—which of course further infuriates the people of Pakistan, which pushes even more of them to embrace extremism. Damn! Talk about a vicious circle! This dude is really between a rock and a hard place! Which brings us back to these current events:

While the Plaid Avenger personally thinks Musharraf is an okay cat, there is no way that he can be considered a truly elected president in a real democracy. Pakistan is in no way, shape, or form a real functioning democracy right now—and maybe its not ever going to be one either. While Mush certainly has international support from other governments, he certainly does not have clear-cut widespread support of the people. That’s why this group of lawyers and a fired chief justice are getting so much airplay, as well as inciting the masses. Many see Mush as an authoritarian dictator and Western-stooge, and it’s not hard to envision why they think that way. Given his situation, what else can he do? I pose that question to you, readers. Especially if you live in Pakistan.

But know what’s really going on here Plaid People: the rest of the planet (particularly the US and India) does not want to see nuclear-armed Pakistan fall into total chaos, anarchy, or even a theocratic state. The other countries of the world will continue to support Musharraf, or even another similar authoritarian leader, in order to keep a lid on the boiling pot we call Pakistan. The US, the EU, and India all continue to rally around the Mush government because they see no other viable options right now, or even in the foreseeable future. It gets tricky for true democracies to show support for ‘fake’ democracies like Pakistan—and now perhaps you can see why they do it anyway.

Poor Musharraf. Every single thing this guy does infuriates a shitload of people. And it don’t look like things are going to get any better for him, or his country, for some time to come.

My Mush advice: keep the kevlar on my friend.