As the Plaid Avenger sips a strong scotch and stares out his office window at a dozens and dozens of police cars and ambulances lining the street in front of me, I have to ask myself the question that perhaps so many of you are asking yourselves on this blustery, depressing day:

What the living fuck is wrong with people in this country?

As many of you know, and many others of you suspect, the Plaid Avenger is by day a mild-mannered college professor here on the campus of Virginia Tech…a typically picturesque, quaint college town in the eastern US. But today is anything but typical. Earlier, a single lost, distraught soul decided to end his life in flashy-Hollywood-style-format by taking at least 32 other folks with him, in what can only be described as an increasingly occurring ‘American gunman psycho’ rampage scenario. What an asshole.

I know that I’m writing too close to the events, and thus feelings and passions are still running hot, but the Plaid Avenger always speaks from the gut anyway. And this shit is fucking ridiculous. What has our society been reduced to? The still unidentified lone gunman’s degeneration into madness—by all accounts and speculation I have gathered—started as a pitiful crime of passion: a blow-up with his girlfriend, who he then assassinated. And true to American form, once you start killing…why stop? He then proceeded to randomly destroy lives over in the engineering building, prematurely snuffing out lives of creative and energetic folks who would have certainly gone on to build, create, and help the would become a better place. What a fucking waste.

And for what? Because this one single guy was depressed? Unbalanced? Unhappy? Unloved? Hell I don’t even know who he is yet, but he certainly had his issues. Unfortunately for our students, our university, and our country in general, this guy had a whole lot of issues and a whole lot of access to a whole lot of guns and ammunition. But I don’t want to politicize the issue too much—I just think you radical NRA members and gun advocates have to keep in mind that when you fight tooth and nail to insure your personal right to own a fucking Uzi, you are simultaneously protecting the rights of unbalanced folks like this shooter to own a fucking Uzi. You and Charlton Heston can wrap yourselves in the American flag all you fucking want, but you might want to stay away from this campus for now.

But the bigger issue is why any American this young would be driven to such self-destruction, along with the destruction of others. I can’t help but think of the scene from ‘The Matrix’ where Agent Smith is describing the need for the matrix: because when the computers made life idyllic and easy, the humans kept ‘waking up’ from the artificial world. They couldn’t accept it. And here in the 21st century in the USA, the richest, easiest country on the planet, I wonder if the same damn thing isn’t happening. For those of you from other parts of the world, and for those of you that have traveled in other parts of the world, you know that life for the vast majority of humans is a struggle. It’s tough. It’s dirty. It smells bad. It hurts. People work hard to stay alive. They suffer. They go hungry. What was the old saying about life being a struggle, and brutish and short? It certainly applies to most humans, but it certainly does not apply to most Americans.

Maybe that has become a problem for us. Things have been too good for too long, and therefore people have to create problems for themselves. What problem could be so big that you would end your life for, and/or the lives of others? A girl? A guy? A job? A grade in school? Your reputation? You must be fucking joking me.

It’s too late to help the lost souls of this bleak day in Blacksburg, but for the rest of you that may read these words, here’s a tip: when you get really down, really depressed, really anxious, really full of self-pity for your situation, then just do this: go to Africa. Go to the Middle East. Go to Central America. Go to India. Go to Central Asia. Go out into the rest of the world and discover what true suffering is all about. Go see people really in pain, really hungry, really in need, with real problems. And while your depressed ass is there, why don’t you try and help them out. Get the hell out of America for a little while and broaden your perspectives about what’s going on out there. I think you will be amazed at how truly pitiful your perceived problems will appear, and how much better your life can be for recognizing this knowledge.

Take the red pill. And I’ll be on the other side to welcome you to the real world.

On a day of bitter tragedy such as this, perhaps I have no right to rant about such things. But we all cope in different ways, and I encourage you all to become even better, stronger, and more caring people for having witnessed this atrocity. This forum is always open for discussion, so go for it.

Remember what has happened. Pray for the families and friends. Help each other out. Strive to do more and be better. Fight for what is right. Always. That is all that we as humans can do.

Peace

-PA